Pink Sky Song

Let me tell you about a boy.

The one with the chocolate eyes.

His name is Charlie.

Charlie has two older brothers, one younger sister, and another younger brother.

He has a brother who has what you call special needs. His name is Jack.

At eighteen, you could say Charlie’s childhood is in the rear-view mirror. Memories become a slideshow.

Teeth left under pillows, cookies on a plate for Santa, painted eggs hidden in the living room.

Fireworks on the Fourth of July, brilliant flowers exploding overhead.

Riding home from the beach, a song about pink skies on the radio.

A spring evening. Charlie standing on a baseball field, all of sixteen years old, pitching for the varsity team even though he is a little young for it. As evening dusk announces itself, he steps off the mound. He gets into his car and heads to Target, to buy his special brother Jack a birthday present.

A mere six months later, panic grips this boy Charlie like a storm. As autumn’s brilliant leaves give way to winter’s stark branches, he descends. He can’t sleep. He doesn’t want to go to school. Life feels meaningless.

Night after night, his father stays up late talking to him. He reminds him of all that is good and right in the world.

Slowly, Charlie breathed again. He returned.

Still, it wasn’t easy. He had to fight the vibrations beneath his ribcage. He had to talk to people about his feelings, and remember to eat good food, and keep breathing through the panic.

Through it all, he played baseball. He found comfort in the game—the way he gripped the ball and stared down the batters. When he wasn’t playing, he was thinking about playing.

Today, this boy Charlie sits on a different field. Dressed in a red cap and gown, he walks across the stage when his name was called. He accepts his high school diploma.

In the audience, his father claps loudly. He keeps his sunglasses on to hide his eyes. A newly-minted fifty year old himself, he wonders where the time went.

After the pictures in the rain, after the high-fives, after his family drives away, Charlie walks back to his car.

He drives to the store.

And buys his father a birthday present.

This boy Charlie.

He is more than a field.

He is fire, he is light, he is a pink sky song.

My son.

Stand still. If only for a moment.